Some thoughts on homeschooling for perplexed parents in a pandemic

I started writing this blog post and discovered that I had much more to say than even weird homeschool types would like to read in one sitting, so I’ve divided it into a two-parter. In this one, I’ll cover 1) the difference in doing school at home and actually homeschooling, 2) freedoms afforded to homeschoolers, 3) the importance of treasuring those freedoms, 4) the fact that it’s NOT easy…and 5) after 14 years, I still believe it’s worth it.

Do you find yourself faced with an uncomfortable dilemma as the next school year approaches? Are you considering sending your children back to school not knowing all the risks that it entails? Are you additionally concerned about how disrupted their learning may be with rigorous safety measures and possible future forced closures? Is homeschooling suddenly looking like a possibility even though deep down you have no real desire to pursue it?

I have alluded in other posts to the fact that homeschooling does not necessarily match the preconceived notion many people have of it. So in this post, I’m going to attempt to debunk some homeschool myths. I’ll also attempt to uncover some of the benefits. Ones that may encourage you to rethink whether or not homeschooling is actually an option for you.

I’m here to share that perhaps the choice doesn’t have to come down to the lesser of two evils. That perhaps homeschooling is something different entirely. And upon further examination, it might not be such a bizarre choice after all!

Homeschool for the greater good??

Why should you even consider homeschooling, you ask? Maybe you shouldn’t. For many, I realize, homeschooling is not an option, perhaps because of parental work situations or other obligations. Or perhaps you know you don’t have the right disposition. On the other hand, some may just have an outright philosophical opposition to the idea.

But for those who can, even if you think you’d rather not, it might be worth reconsidering for a number of reasons. Certainly not the least important of those reasons is that it could help ease the burden of the system in “uncrowding” the schools as they attempt to bring back students with restrictions in place. I’m admittedly totally ignorant as to how removing lots of students from the schools all at once may impact things like federal funding. But for now, the pressing need seems to be fewer students packed into tight spaces. And additional homeschool families could free up some of that space.

Yes, most of us make education decisions based on what’s good for our own children. But if there’s a silver lining in the pandemic, it must be that we’re being forced to think about taking measures for the good of others–and ultimately for the good of all. You may be surprised, however, at what a benefit homeschooling can also be to your household.

Thought #1 – Doing school at home and homeschooling sound alike, but they aren’t the same thing.

First things first, homeschooling ≠ doing school at home. Repeat after me: “I do not have to replicate what happens in a public/private school to educate my children!” Since the start of the pandemic I’ve read at least 101 articles about “sudden homeschoolers.” From this brief stint of so-called homeschooling, which I think is more accurately termed “home-bound” school, many have a bad taste in their mouths and can’t get their kids back into school fast enough.

I’m imagining many of these people trying to keep their children caught up on the seemingly millions of activities that happen in a public school classroom in a day, as well as documenting the work and passing it along to a supervising teacher.

But educating one or two or five students “homeschool style” is a whole different proposition than the highly structured machines that are schools which facilitate the education of hundreds of students at a time.

Let’s RELAX and rethink things for a moment.

Since most of us attended public schools, it’s only natural to teach the way we were taught. And it is a strong tendency, especially if you actually have a background in education. And I’m not saying that it’s the wrong approach. There ARE official, card-carrying homeschoolers (yeah, you can get a card…) who do “school” at home that strongly resembles traditional classroom learning, complete with textbooks, little desks and bulletin boards… and lots of worksheets. But to my mind this approach fails to take advantage of the differences that homeschooling can offer.  

For MANY homeschoolers, the reason that we homeschool in the first place is to DEPART from public school methods. It occurred to me several years before my own girls were born that I would like the chance to take a different approach from many of the things about public schools that I found problematic. For example, I felt schools took a “mass production” approach to education, perhaps inspired by the industrial revolution.

Students of a particular age belong to a particular grade level and are expected to master a predetermined set of skills at similar rates.

Teachers are tasked with the impossible: a quality, individualized education for each student.

In the schools’ defense, practically speaking, there have to be some economies of scale when you’re attempting to educate the masses. But I believe quality inevitably suffers when teachers are forced to serve so many students at once.

The results often seem to be students working through great volumes of worksheets. Then the poor teacher grades mountains of paper to do a wholesale check for a class’s understanding of a concept. Meanwhile the homeschool student may be able to learn the same concept involving all five senses and demonstrating understanding to the parent/teacher through a natural conversation or a shared activity.

The constant measuring to a set of standards that don’t account for gifts and talents of students that fall outside the norm causes many to be labeled or to label themselves failures, when perhaps just a different set of standards is appropriate. But realistically it would be difficult to implement such variety in a typical school setting.

Ultimately, the things that are SO important in public school are not necessarily the things which must be emphasized in homeschool. It isn’t always, but homeschool CAN be a different animal entirely.

All homeschool kids get IEPs (Individualized Education Plans)

For me personally, the opportunity to tailor my child’s education to fit her unique needs and gifting is a huge advantage. And be prepared for things to sometimes shape up differently than you imagine them. I have a degree in art, for instance,  and believe there are many advantages to art education from an early age. However, my own two daughters were much less enthusiastic about visual art than they were about dance.

And while we made some art and studied some visual art, it didn’t make their heart sing. They both embraced a passion for dance at an early age. Then they proceeded to make it an important part of their own education, contrary to what I originally envisioned— and that’s okay!  But had I tried to pour them into my predetermined mold, they might not have felt successful or fulfilled in the same way.

School does not have to take place within any certain hours, in any certain place and for that matter, not even indoors! And at the age when “hands-on” learning is so important, you’re free to do LOTS of hands-on activities. Teaching/learning can take on a much more varied, organic approach.

So a change in perspective, i.e., dropping the notion of PUBLIC school simply replicated at home, might make homeschooling more palatable for some. 

Point #2 – Living in the USA=FREEDOM TO HOMESCHOOL, for now, at least.

You have lots of FREEDOM. I’m talking about the kind of freedom to train your children in the way you see fit, without the kind of oversight that makes you want to turn the whole hassle over to someone else. Some states have almost NO restrictions whatsoever. You only have to notify them of your intent to homeschool. Tennessee is more restrictive than some states, but we generally have lots of freedom.

We use a private, church-related school as our “umbrella”–or the liaison between us and the state. I have to submit curriculum lists each year in addition to “attendance,” or number of days we did school, and a grade for each subject each semester. Sound like a lot less pointless paperwork? It is.

The other option in Tennessee would be to register with the state. The requirements here are only 180 4-hour days each year plus standardized tests at certain intervals.

Wait–only four hours?

Four-ish hours may not sound like nearly what public school kids get. But just think of the amount of time taken up with attendance, administrative tasks, classroom behavior correction, lunch, recess, assemblies, announcements, and so on. When I taught public school, I constantly struggled to actually use instructional time for instruction! And while on many homeschool days we ended up doing more time than required–either in my zeal to check off all the boxes or because we were actually engrossed in learning–four hours is PLENTY of instructional time in a day.

Readin’ Ritin’ and Rithmetic?

Teaching can be brought down to its essence, which I once heard summed up by a wise retired teacher/principal/school superintendent: “Know your stuff. Know and love the ones you’re stuffing. And stuff ’em.”

The only thing I’d add to that mantra is that in homeschooling is if you don’t know your stuff, you can go find it out. And so can your children, with your supervision. Do you have to be an authority on everything you teach?? Um…NO! I guarantee classroom teachers are not. You only have to know slightly more than the one you’re teaching, or at least where to find out what you need to know. And information has never been more readily available.

Your main role doesn’t have to be the person imparting all the knowledge, but instead a facilitator of learning, discovering, exploring. A learning adventure tour guide, so to speak.

The really beautiful thing is that without time wasted waiting in the school drop-off/pick-up lines and all the other “necessary evil” time-wasters that go along with public school, you may have time for a little balance. Perhaps unscheduled time. Or in our case, time to pursue things like sports or theater or dance, without robbing yourselves of all family time. If I could do it over, I’d work to carve out more of this unstructured FREE time, especially in the early years. AND more chores, which are a HUGE part of a proper education!

If you’re considering homeschooling and are concerned about the restrictions/requirements or lack thereof, check out your state government website, or ones like this–https://homeschoolstatelaws.com–and pay attention to things like testing requirements, curriculum submission, attendance recording, and so on.

Point #3 – Preserve our freedom: use it wisely.

With freedom comes responsibility. I feel sure the next statement doesn’t apply to anyone reading this article, seeking tranquil domesticity (wink), but to make the point, I’ll say it anyway: If you see homeschooling as a free ticket to turn your kids loose and never do anything learning-related with them, then you’re probably not a good candidate (and you’re also the stereotype in the mind of most public school teachers).

Just as there are students in the public schools who are not supported at home and often do not do well, there are parents who pull their children out of public school to “homeschool” with no intention of investing in their child’s education. On the other hand, the great majority of homeschool parents (AND public school parents) I’ve ever met have a strong desire to be involved in their child’s learning– and put a great deal of effort into it. And generally speaking, I think the intention/dedication of the homeschool teaching parent to the child’s education is more important than his/her skill level.

So what does homeschooling done right look like?

The one thing homeschoolers have in common is that they all do it differently.

Here’s the good news, and the bad news if you’re looking for specific answers: there is no ONE specific way to do homeschool. You do what works for your unique family situation and your unique children.

I know a decent number of  homeschool families in which both parents work, and while I absolutely believe that this situation is doable, it still takes sacrifice and coordination on the part of the parents. 

The much more common scenario is for one parent to be the primary educator, and for that education to be the parent’s primary occupation, usually coupled with running the home.

What did we do?

In my case, I did not earn an income at all until my girls were old enough to drive and were working almost entirely independently on schoolwork. (In the interest of full disclosure, I did do lots of volunteer work… and involved my girls as much as possible.) I did also run the home… just not always very well.

Even when they were older, however, I only did very limited part time work. That was all I could handle in addition to still overseeing their work and functioning as their guidance counselor, not to mention being a “PRESENT” parental figure.

However, I know of many homeschool moms who’ve managed to incorporate home businesses. I even know some who worked outside of the home while schooling their children (in a very flexible employment situation of course…), and still managed great success with it.

No one should assume, however, that those parents do very little teaching. On the contrary, they probably have to be very organized and prepared going into each day. They also likely have to select a curriculum that works for their unique situation. The ones I have known to take this approach may have had some less dynamic lessons. But I’ve also seen them more than compensate with fabulous trips abroad and enriching activities outside of instructional time.

Round the clock schooling?

The point is—there IS a time sacrifice involved that I don’t think you can or should underestimate.

Ideally, (and this takes more skill and planning than it sounds) “school” would just be learning incorporated into all of life. Kids would be learning during all of their waking hours, instead of relegating it to certain activities and having to grit our teeth to crank out 20 hours a week. But ultimately your job is to do the best you can with what you have to work with. And be flexible to adjust from year to year as needed. And do likewise as your situation changes and the maturity level of your children increases.

Point # 4 – It’s not all unicorns and rainbows.

Lest I paint too rosy a picture, I should also point out that sometimes it’s really hard. I look at homeschooling as a very natural extension of parenting. And parenting by anybody’s standard is HARD. I believe it should be handled with lots of prayer and lots of support on the part of the non-educating parent or other involved adult family members.

On my best weeks, I often still had many difficult moments, sometimes laced with tears. I always questioned whether or not I was doing enough or doing the right things. “Homeschool mom guilt” can be like “mom guilt” on steroids! 

But I thought all homeschool kids can’t get enough of school…?

I had ugly incidents of noncompliance with my children. They didn’t always love everything about homeschooling. They didn’t even always love to learn. (Insert shocked expression here.) A humorous (in hindsight) case in point was our trip to Washington, DC.

Though we would have loved to have seen more of the world with our girls, we were blessed with lots of great travel opportunities. One such trip was to Washington, DC.

I was so excited about visiting all the museums and monuments we could squeeze into a fairly short trip. My girls, however, were less than enthusiastic, especially about anything to do with history. They balked at almost every site we visited on the trip. (We did an awesome behind-the-scenes Capitol tour, saw the Supreme Court building, the war memorials, and the Lincoln Memorial, among others.) The only site in which they had real interest was a famous cupcake shop they had seen on TV… Cupcakes! That was really the best thing about Washington, DC??! Homeschool Mom FAIL. I just couldn’t imagine where I had gone so wrong…

Point # 5 – As hard as it is, it’s worth it.

As I was typing this post, I asked both girls, now 17 and 19, about whether or not they were glad I homeschooled them. IF to their mind it was the right choice. They both hesitated, which honestly made me squirm a minute. Then they proceeded to say they didn’t know if they were qualified to answer such a question. Since they hadn’t experienced life on the other side and couldn’t really say how different they might have turned out. 

While in my heart of hearts I wanted them to gush, “Mom, we couldn’t imagine life any other way, and you’re the BEST for your sacrifice and hard work!!” (Sigh) I’m glad they can think critically enough to see that there’s more than one way to do things.

They’ve had wonderful friends all through the years who were public schooled. I haven’t tried to steer them away from it or to disparage their friends’ families’ choices in any way. If they homeschool their own children, it will be because they’ve freely come to that decision. Hopefully it would be in accord with their husbands and for the right reasons—and not just blindly following in a path I’ve chosen for them.

If I had it to do over…

At the same time, I have no regrets. At least about the choice to homeschool. Of my children and me, I’m the only one who’s experienced the up- and down-sides of public school.

I know that realistically they would not have been afforded the same freedoms. For example, to dance most weeknights until late at night and then sleep in in the mornings to catch up. They would not have been nearly as close to one another if separated by all the time spent at school and in separate grade levels. Countless hours curled up on the couch with their pets, exploring great literature and living science books and committing scripture to memory would not have been possible.

They wouldn’t have been able to travel and take advantage of Dad’s business trips and off-peak travel rates during the school year. And they wouldn’t have been able to learn a great many things like foreign languages, typing, and world history when they were ready instead of years later when the schools offered them.

There were many times when I thought it might be easier to throw in the towel and just send them to public school. But I never believed that was the best option for them. I know I’d probably do lots of things differently if given the chance to do it over. Of course, I have the benefit of hindsight. But I wouldn’t take anything for the time we spent together and the things we’ve learned. And the opportunity to explore all of their learning through a Biblical lens has been priceless. At the same we haven’t shied away from any topic and have become educated about what other people believe. 

It’s been the very best part of my own education, and I believe it’s been a pretty good start to theirs.

To be continued…

Read Part 2 HERE.